Category: Joke Board
>'Twas the night before Christmas, and boy was it neat.
>The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
>The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,
>It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
>Momma in her teddy and I in the nude,
>Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
>When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
>That I lost my boner, and momma went dry.
>Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
>Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
>The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
>Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
>When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
>But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
>With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,
>A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.
>Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite,
>Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
>Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.
>Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
>Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.
>They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
>Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
>And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
>As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
>I was donning my jocked, to cover my ass,
>When down the chimmney Santa came with a crash.
>His suit was al smelly with perfume galore,
>He looked like a bum and smelled like a whore.
>"That was some brothel," he said with a smile,
>"The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay awhile"
>He walked to the kitchen for himself poured a drink,
>Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
>I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
>The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
>Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
>But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
>The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
>The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.
>A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
>And six pair of panties, the edible kind.
>A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
>And several more things I shouldn't even mention.
>A fuck ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
>And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil.
>"This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,
>So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split."
>He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
>With one tiny butt plug stuck under his sleeve.
>He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
>Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
>In time he was seated, took reigns of his hitch,
>Saying,"Take me home, Rudolf. This night's been a bitch!"
>The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
>"The best thing about pussy is you can't wear it out!!"-
good 1 I love it!